The first Missed the Bloody Cut horror selection of this 2025, here are some more horror movies that did not meet my strict criteria (a rating of 7.0 or higher). . . but are still entertaining films (horror fanatics may enjoy) that do not deserve to be ignored like a radiation spill in a secret government location – and that are definitely worth a watch (just maybe not several re-watches).
Arguably one of the most enticing movie posters ever created to promote a film that has none of the same energy found on the advertising art, 1962’s Reptilicus (released the year after the Danish co-production shot at the same time with most of the identical locations and cast), co-written and directed by Sidney W. Pink, may sound like an ancient swords and sandals gladiatorial epic between a Danish David and a reptilian Goliath, but alas, that is not at all true.
Walking a fine line between a promotional travel video for Copenhagen and a faux archaeology documentary where the creature slowly comes back to life, the story finds miners discovering a giant piece of an ancient frozen lizard-like tail in Lapland (check out the Frank Sinatra cover of “Let’s Do It” for a rare Lapland lyrical rhyme in a tune). Returning it to a famed aquarium in the capital city run by Professor Otto Martens (Asbjørn Andersen), who, for some reason, always seems to be accompanied by his two attractive daughters, Lise and Karen (Ann Smyrner and Mimi Heinrich) – their apparent job. . . to flirt and attend to any decent looking guys who enter the facility, it is there that they store the live tissue – freezing it at a frigid -20 Celsius.
Backed by a cast that comes across either as stone cold as if they’ve been stored in the previously named cooling system, or as one dimensional over-actors – look for Peterson (Dirch Passer) as the resident Don Knotts-like reactionary night-watchman. . . thankfully, a sole American arrives to run the show – Brigadier General Mark Greyson (Carl Ottosen), with UNESCO’s Connie Miller (Marla Behrens) attempting to be a voice of reason – she even succeeds. . . by taking him on a tour of the city!
With special effects that are sure to awe and amaze. . . that is, of course, an outright lie (look for the lizard chomping down a poor Danish farmer – ironically becoming food himself. . . or Reptilicus spitting acid – oh wait, I just got word that it might have been because he read the script), you might be wishing for more of that Copenhagen promotional advertisement stuff before long. Funnily enough, the best scene in the film might be where a crowd of restauranteurs are forced to sit through a rendition of the tune “Tivoli Nights” by Birthe Wilke – some seeming trapped (they must have been gifted the tickets and told it was a different act), while the other half look dazed by the performance – pure comedy gold. All kidding aside, if you’re in the mood for a laugh while watching an old drive-in flick that is meant to be part sci-fi, part B horror film, then this might be a fun watch for you. So, take your chances with this most monstrous movie, it might have you Reptili–cussing by the end of it.
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Yet another cinematic take on the works of the great Edgar Allan Poe (think both “The Cask of Amontillado” and “The Premature Burial”), the 1989 television horror movie Buried Alive, directed by Gérard Kikoïne, features some scary sights (warning ahead), including – poor coping of brickwork, an overloaded electrical circuit, an overabundance of square footage, an all girls juvenile delinquent school that allows the ladies to do all their own cooking, a snarling cat with a look like Clint Eastwood from a spaghetti western, and a slight ant infestation problem – the horror, oh the horror!
With this historic former insane asylum turned boarding school being run by the genius mind of Gary Julian (Robert Vaughn – The Magnificent Seven), he has been lucky enough to recruit one of his newest protégées, nervous Janet (Karen Lorre – at that time, Karen Witter), to teach at the school along with Dr. Schaeffer (Donald Pleasence – Halloween) – best described as a poor man’s Sigmund Freud with an awful haircut.
Having to deal with the many troublesome students, including the rough around the edges teacher’s pet Debbie (Ginger Lynn – the former adult star) and the rather wily Fingers (Nia Long – The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air) – it rather bizarrely also seems like many of the students disappear quite often, which brings local cop Ken Wade (Arnold Vosloo – yes, the titular Mummy himself. . . though this time with hair) to the school from time to time. Yet, somehow, nobody ever sees the person running around in a Ronald Reagan mask. . . that is, unless they end up dead shortly after.
Haunted with visions, Janet keeps seeing many a scary thing – including that bad coping. . . oh, and some aged haunting presence in the basement (John Carradine – in the last role he shot. . . he literally died on a stopover during his return home), which doesn’t help with her crippling anxiety. With nowhere to go, what will come of Janet and her dwindling number of students? Is this place actually haunted, or is it just shoddy craftsmanship? Might Janet find love with the flirty principal. . . or could she catch the eye of the Freudian bowl-cutted educator?
Though it boasts a creepy cool setting, Buried Alive really struggles to amp up the horror. Despite its intriguing cast of veterans and newcomers, its lack of style and weak script (its about as structurally sound as the setting of “The Fall of the House of Usher”) make it a lackluster ‘what could have been’. So, though “The Raven” might suggest ‘nevermore’, unearth this one if you care.
